Sowing the Seeds of Love

My family and I were having a leisurely stroll inside a mall when we walked passed a young man who was busy handing out flyers for a newly opened restaurant. As he handed it out the piece of paper to me, I politely smiled and declined it. He quickly acknowledged and moved on to the next person walking behind us.

My daughter noticed this and started asking me a few questions. “Daddy, why does the man keep handing out flyers even when most people refused to accept them? Do the flyers really work; I mean would people actually pay attention to what it says? It better works, otherwise he would be wasting a lot of papers!” she concluded.

I thought for a while and recalled reading an article about “The Law of the Seed” (author unknown). This is a perfect example of how such a “law” can explain why a seemingly wasteful activity is actually poised to bring good result later on. It says that most seeds would never grow. If we want to grow a tree, we must plant many seeds. The author concluded that if we really want to make something happen, we had better try more than once.

Ironically, printing lots of papers to be distributed as flyers is bad for trees; but this principle of “most seeds would never grow” is the one that drives their mass distribution. There will be a few who would be reading them, and a few more would eventually visit the new restaurant.

I took the opportunity to explain to my daughter that for her to succeed at anything, she must try it again and again. If success would come only after a hundred times, she would not achieve it if she stopped at the ninety-ninth try. She must not get frustrated because that is just nature at work.

The Seed of Love

The same law is also applicable in the parenting perspective. Parents must plant plenty of seeds, especially the seeds of love, to increase the odds of having a happy and successful family. Not all seeds will grow but they are not wasted either.

A mother recently approached me to share her frustrations in dealing with her primary school daughter who seemed to have refused to listen to her anymore. The mother claimed that she had tried everything such as asking nicely, giving incentives or even pleading but the daughter would do something only after being repeatedly asked to do so. Even then, she would leave the task at a slightest distraction. Her academic performance is also declining compared to the previous years. At times, the situation become tense when one of the parent would start yelling, scolding and even dishing out light physical punishments to the daughter. This has caused the house to be a highly stressful environment and parenting becomes unpleasant.

The mother was unsure of what to do next. She had planted many seeds but most, if not all, have failed to give her any results thus far. However, she must not give up. There will be one seed that is waiting to be planted; the one that will grow into a beautiful tree.

To find that seed, there is no other way but to plant more. If the old ways do not seem to work, we must find and try the new ways. Get everyone – father, mother, children and even housemaid – to be involved and have an open discussion. Create a new strategy by taking into accounts what had and had not worked before. “Water the seeds” by pouring a lot of love into the process. A growing seed cannot be rushed. Be patient and watch it grow into something wonderful each passing day.

Enemies of the Seeds

In nature, a growing seed would have to survive many enemies. Birds, harsh weather and barren soils are united against the seeds’ survival. If we are not careful and do not have a plan to protect our seeds, these elements would quickly reverse our efforts and eventually destroy them.

Similarly, we must also expect many negative elements that would always find a way to get into our children’s lives. Bad friends’ influences, internet, new technology and borderless world are racing to get into our homes. Therefore, we must keep in touch with the technology, upgrade our parenting knowledge and skills and build that fence to ensure that all the enemies are stopped at the gate.

Sowing the Seeds of the Future

Do not let ourselves to be like a farmer who has plenty of seeds but refuses to plant them. When the others are reaping their harvest, the farmer continues to hold on to his dying seeds. Plant those seeds, nurture, protect and watch them grow into beautiful trees.

Good and healthy trees will create pleasant environments, nice sceneries and provide plenty of shades for others. In times, they would also produce many more good seeds to ensure the survival of our future generations.